Dude? Wheres My Tessen?!?!
by Tempist de Lioncourt
Summary: Tasuki and Chichiri wake up with major hangovers and no memory of what they did the night before. Tasukis missing his tessen and Chichiris just being Chichiri. Rating for bandit language. R&R!!!^.^
1. Chapter 1

AN: Fushigi Yuugi does not belong to me...sadly.... or anyone mentioned in this...save for me! ^.^ And I do except flames...though Id rather get reviews! And im not getting paid for this either....*mumbles something about how cheep im getting.* Anyway...enough of this...on with the story!!!  
  
  
  
Dude? Wheres My Tessen?!?! By: Tempist.  
  
  
  
"Damnit! I knew I shouldnt have had that last bowl of sake!" Tasuki said sitting up, holding his head. He looked around and it took him a moment to register where he was. "Wait...i was at a tavern last night..." He said and looked around. He saw Chichiri spread out on the floor drooling while he slept. Tasuki crawled to the end of the bed and threw a pillow at the sleeping monk.  
  
"DAAA!!!!!!" Chichiri yelled as the hard pillow hit him in the face.  
  
"FUCK! To loud!" Tasuki said falling off the bed as he heard Chichiri yell.  
  
"DAA!!!" Chichiri went into chibi form and ran around the room before falling flat on his face after tripping over the ball of Tasuki.  
  
"Chiri man...your too fucking loud!" Tasuki said as low as posible while still holding his head.  
  
"Sorry no da. I have such a headache na no da." Chichiri returned to his normal self and sat up.  
  
"Do you rember anything that we did last night?" Tasuki asked as he stood up, then fell on the bed face first because he had a head rush from moving too fast.  
  
"Only before getting drunk no da." Chichiri answered getting up, and wipped his mouth of the access drool from his sleep.  
  
"Where the fuck are we?" Tasuki said into the bed spread afraid to move his head because of how much it hurt.  
  
"I believe we are in a room above the tavern Tasuki-san no da." Chichiri took off his shirt that was soaked and smelled of sake and put a fresh one on. He looked around and found his kesa, kasa, and shoes. As he put them on, Tasuki got the energy to get up and looked down and saw for the first time that he was only wearing a table cloth in the form of a toga. He grabbed his cloths and put them on. He then noticed something wrong.  
  
"WHERE THE FUCK IS MY FREAKING TESSEN?!?!" Tasuki yelled throwing everything everywhere.  
  
"I believe you were lighting things on fire saying there were little men on everything so the bartender took it." Chichiri said remembering that much from when he wasnt that drunk then.  
  
"Dude? Wheres my tessen?!?!" Tasuki said running out the door half way down the stairs before he stumbed and fell the rest of the way down. "Damn wing sign." Tasuki said getting up. He ran over to the bar. '' Wheres my fucking tessen?" Tasuki yelled at the bartender as the bartender came out from the back.  
  
"What the hells a tessen?" The bartender asked.  
  
"An iron fan. Now where the hell is it!?!?!" Tasuki was ready to jump over the bar and look for it himself if the damned bartender didnt look.  
  
"Im sorry. I think the night tender took it home with him." The 'tender said after looking in the box of left over crap from the previous night. Tasuki demanded the info on the dude and of course the bartender, scared shitless of the ex-bandit, gave him the guys name and address. Chichiri watched as Tasuki did this shaking his head slightly, then fallowed Tasuki out, turning chibi and smiling, giving the bartender a peace sign with his fingers.Tasuki stepped outside and shielded his eyes from the bright outdoors.  
  
"DAMNIT!!!" Tasuki yelled as he adjusted to the move from the dim bar to the bright and sunny street.  
  
"Tasuki-san. I think you aught to wait untill your hangover has died down some na no da." Chichiri advised the red head.  
  
"Ill rest when I get my Fucking tessen back." Tasuki stomped into the busy street and then bumped into a guard.  
  
"Hey. Your the ones who broke into the palace last night!" One guard yelled and pointed Tasuki and Chichiri out to the other guards.  
  
"SHIT!" Tasuki yelled and he and Chichiri ran down the street in chibi form from the guards.  
  
"DAAA!!!!!" Chichiri yelled jumping over a cart. He caught up with Tasuki and they ran down the street with the guards close behind.  
  
To Be Continued....  
  
Well...that was my first fic. I hope you like it!!!! Next chapter coming soon...hopefully... Please Review! 


	2. Chapter 2

AN: First off....Id like to thank everyone who gave me reviews....they all rocked. I love reviews...^.^ Ok....Fushigi Yuugi doesnt belong to me or the characters in it. This is basicly a spoof on Dude, Wheres My Car, so hope you all like it! P.S...im still not seeing any green stuff for this either...T.T and Ill be making a few comments here and there. ON WITH THE STORY!!!  
  
  
  
Dude? Wheres My Tessen?!?! By: Tempist  
  
  
  
"Holy.....Shit....." Tasuki said panting heavily from the chase. He looked over to see Chichiri sitting on a crate.  
  
"Im going to need major meditating after this no da. Suzakus probably inches away from dropping us off a cliff for what we suposedly did no da." Chichiri got up and walked to the door and opened it a crack. They had lost the guards when they dove into this storage shed but Chichiri was still paranoid that they were staking them out.  
  
"Hey....theres the fucking bartenders house that took my fucking tessen!" Tasuki yelled when he looked over Chichiris shoulder. "Common, move yer ass!" Tasuki said and drug Chichiri down the street some to a house with a high fence and wierd noises coming from behind the fence.  
  
"Um...Tasuki-san...I dont think we should go in there no da." Chichiri stopped a few feet from the gate and watched as Tasuki poked his head in.  
  
"Its fine Chiri. Common...dont be such a freakin scared-ass." Tasuki said while opening the gate all the way.  
  
"Im not scared no da! If anything, Im worried what your going to do to the bartender na no da." Chichiri walked through the gate with Tasuki and shut it behind him. They stood amazed how large the land was around the house and noticed that it was all mostly covered in shrubery and so was the house itself.  
  
"Hey look....the guy has rabits." Tasuki said looking over to see a bunch of rabits hopping around and eating grass not 20 feet from them. Tasuki walked over to pet one, when the thing jumped on his face. Tasuki ran around with the rabit on his face and then hit a wall. The rabit loosened its grip when it hit and Tasuki threw it off.... "Holy Shit! That thing attacked me!" Tasuki said and pointed accusingly at the now sweet looking rabit lying on the ground.  
  
"Um....Tasuki-san....." Chichiri stood wide-eyed, staring behind Tasuki.  
  
"What?" Tasuki asked then turned around.... "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" Tasuki yelled and jumped back as a rabit the size of a horse came hopping out from behind the house. "ITS A FUCKING RABIT THE SIZE OF A HORSE!!!" (consept...*author shakes her head holding her forehead*) "ACK!!! ITS A HORBIT!! RUN DAMNIT!!!" Tasuki grabbed Chichiri and they sped into a woodshed in the corner of the yard.  
  
"Oh...Suzaku....this is the price we pay for tainting Suzakus name by getting drunk last night na no da." Chichiri panted and Tasuki clenced his fist.  
  
"Im so close. I wont let that bastard have my damn tessen." Tasuki gritted his teeth and opened the door of the woodshed. He saw the horbit right at the door and he slammed it and put his back against the woodshed door. "Eep." Tasuki said and the horbit rammed into it. "Chichiri...do something damnit!" Tasuki yelled.  
  
"Daa!!!!!!!!" Chichiri yelled as Tasuki yelled at him. Chichiri took out his kesa and he pulled himself and Tasuki into it and they reappeared in the house.  
  
Tasuki looked at Chichiri with a scowel...  
  
"Nani no da?"  
  
Tasuki had a killer manack look in his eyes...(you know the one were theyre really calm/high looking? Yeah...that one.) "Why didnt you just do that from the fucking start?!?!" Tasuki yelled.  
  
"DAAAA!!!!!!!!!" Chichiri sweatdropped and then smiled, holding a peace sign up.  
  
"Whos there?" A voice called out from the other room. Tasuki rolled up his sleeve and walked toward the voice.  
  
"Ack!" Tasuki covered his eyes. "IM BLIND!!" He yelled as he cover them. The bartender was this ugly fat ass in nothing but a skirt.... (he has issues...ok?)  
  
"DAAA!!!" Chichiri froze when he came in and saw. He sweatdropped and then quickly hid behind Tasuki who was still holding his face...  
  
"They BURN!!" Tasuki yelled and fanned his eyes.  
  
"Who the hell are you?!?!" The man said and put on a robe. Chichiri poked his head out and then relaxed.  
  
"You took an iron fan from him *points to Tasuki* and he wants it back no da." Chichiri told the man.  
  
"Sorry...dont have it. Some guy bought it off me." The guy said.  
  
"Dude....Wheres My FUCKING Tessen?!?!?!" Tasuki yelled, suddenly getting the use of his eyes back, and grabbing the guy by the collar. The guy, in total fear of the red head mad man that was holding him, told him.  
  
"His name was Nakago....he said something about payback and he gave me a good price for the fan... I had to take the offer, with the crap of a salary they give us at the tavern." The man said and Tasuki put him down.  
  
"Lets go Chichiri." Tasuki said and opened the door to the outside. He saw the Horbit and closed it again. Chichiri teleported them out of the house and yard and into the street.  
  
"Nakago....that bastard." Tasuki said and clenched his fist.  
  
"Tasuki?!?!?!" A girl yelled from across the street... "Chichiri?!?!?!" Her friend yelled too. The guys looked at eachother and then at the girls who were now running toward them. Tasuki and Chichiri looked back at eachother and then they both ran down the street with the girls close behind....  
  
To be Continued...  
  
  
  
Yay for me!!!!! I finished the second Chapter!!!!!! Hope its ok... Review with what you think....and quoting my good friend...'I have a handy fire extinguisher for all those flames out there so BRING UM ON!!!' Ok...*sighs* im better. Review so I can feel loved and write more!!!!!!! Thank you much!!!!!!!! 


	3. Chapter 3

AN: all right.it's been a while since I wrote I know.because I sort of forgot about.the.fan fiction.BUT IM BACK! So here ya go! BTW.fushigi yuugi doesn't belong to me.nor am I getting any thing that relates to money for this.other than your great reviews, which I really love! All right. .Enough about this.now.on with the story!  
  
Dude.. Where's my Tessen?!?! By: Tempist  
  
"Forget any of those thoughts on exercising Chiri, running from horney girls is enough!" Tasuki whispered as he and Chichiri hid behind a pile of boxes from the girls they didn't know.  
  
"Tasuki!! Chichiri!!!" The two men heard from the other side of the boxes.  
  
"Tasuki-san no da, how do you suppose we are to get to Nakago's place when were being chased by them na no da?" Chichiri whispered, still watching from a crack in the boxes. Tasuki looked around, his gaze stopping at a cloths stand. He grinned at a sudden idea and looked over at Chichiri.  
  
"You would look good in blue.wouldn't you Chichiri?" Tasuki asked with an arched eyebrow.  
  
"What do you mean.na no.DAA!?" Tasuki pulled Chichiri from their hiding place.  
  
"Damn Chichiri.you make one hot girl!" Tasuki laughed as he adjusted his own red dress and hair. Chichiri sweat dropped, looking at himself in the mirror. His long blue dress and done up hair made him look as if he was a cross dressing...Nuriko.  
  
They casually walked out of the dressing room and down the dirt road, passing the girls, who were still in search of them.  
  
"Note to self.ask Nuriko in the next life how the hell he got around in these." Tasuki whined. Soon, they arrived at the door of Nakago's hide out, after stopping a few men and flirting with them to get the information as to where it was located. Tasuki cleared his throat and knocked lightly on the wooden door.  
  
"Tasuki no da.what are you planning on doing once someone answers the door no da?" Chichiri asked still not liking this idea.  
  
"Were gonna do what any girl would do when faced by a ugly, stupid, fat- assed guard. We flirt till we get our way!" Tasuki smirked, then they heard footsteps on the other side of the door.  
  
"Yeah?" A man fitting Tasuki's description yelled as he open the door, then smirked when he saw Tasuki and Chichiri.  
  
In a feminine voice, Tasuki batted his eyes and smiled at the man, "Sir, where here for Nakago" He giggled slightly at his smirk.  
  
"Well," The guard looked at Tasuki then Chichiri. "Did Nakago pay for you? Or are you still looking for a job?"  
  
Chichiri giggled. "Sorry sir, we're paid in full by Mr. Nakago. We have arrived to fulfill our required job no da." Chichiri smiled and swayed his hips as the guard let them pass.  
  
"Way to go Chiri." Tasuki whispered.  
  
"You owe me big Tasuki-san no da." Chichiri glanced over his shoulder as they walked and saw the guard drooling, his stare focused on Chichiri's ass. "Big time na no da."  
  
  
  
Well.here's where it ends for now! Thanks for all the reviews, and hopefully I will get some good ones to help me stir my creative juices. Ideas for the fic are gladly excepted and might be used! So keep them coming! 


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